Inspired by a certain “ethical” internet company, who sent me some fair-trade earl grey tea and some Christmas decorations in a box the size of a small cattle barn. N.B. Said Company shall remain nameless in the interests of defamation and slander lawsuits and also because they might cut off my supply of fair-trade earl grey.
1)Put old plastic shopping bags over feet/ feet with shoes on to use as substitute wellington boots
2)Use old boxes to hide things in, e.g. Christmas presents – no-one thinks to look in the plain old brown cardboard
3)Use old fancy shopping bags, a là Zara/ La Senza, to hide all your Christmas presents in when you dim-wittedly reveal your secret Christmas present hiding place on your blog, in case anyone you’re buying presents for actually reads it – they surely wouldn’t dare to look in a bag from an underwear shop
4)Use old cereal boxes and old toilet roll tubes, and a bit of glue/paint, to build endless models of ferry boats, until you have an entire fleet and can play a life size version of battleship
5)Use old newspapers to help dry out wet shoes/boots*
6)Put dinner candles in aesthetically pleasing old wine bottles so you can pretend your kitchen/lounge/designated eating room is an Italian restaurant, saves you money on going out to a real one
7)Make bizarre and, er, unique cushion covers out of old clothes or other rags
8)Go all Maria-von-Trappish and use old curtains to make new clothes (warning: may lead to yodelling )
9)Use old yoghurt pots, and quite a lot of string, to build a carbon neutral telecommunications system
10) Make earrings and necklaces out of old can ring pulls
11) Build a CD/DVD rack out of old ice lolly sticks and a bit of glue
12) Make a placard out of an old, inside-out cereal box and an old garden cane, and go and peacefully protest against the unsustainable rise in university tuition fees*
13) Fill old plastic bottles with sand and use as skittles for home-based bowling
14) Collect old jam jars/ fancy pudding dishes and use as tea light holders
15) Use old-fashioned glass milk bottles as mini vases
16) Make bizarre mobiles out of broken or scratched CD’s and vinyl
17) Build a set of steps over many many years through the diligent collection of old phone directories and Argos catalogues, and the canny application of glue
18) Cut words out of old newspapers and use them to leave menacing ransom-style notes to your flatmate next time they steal your milk or don’t do their washing up
19) Use old lampshades as cutting-edge fashion sun hats
20) Take all your old, but still good quality, books, clothes, DVDs, CDs, shoes and other random tat down to your nearest charity shop – you might not want it anymore, but somebody else might, and you’ll be helping out a good cause into the bargain.*
Disclaimer: Please do not actually attempt any of the above at home, unless item is marked with a *
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